Praying with Moses

April 8, 2013
11:45pm

Have you ever experienced receiving the same encouraging words from different people just when you needed to be encouraged?

This morning I opened my devotional and reflected on drawing near to God. Perfect. This is what I really need, I told myself. The main Bible verse was James 4:8. But what struck me most was the last sentence. Pray with Moses, "Show me Your glory." This led me to reading Exodus 33. God gave Moses a task, a big task. So big the task was that he told God, "If Your presence does not go with us, do not send us up from here." Moses longed for God's presence. I ended my quiet time praying with Moses, "show me Your glory."

While eating breakfast, I was browsing the internet. I saw a post, got interested, and clicked the link. I was redirected to a website, an online devotional. The post for today is about passion. I read these words: Then Moses said to him, "If Your presence does not go with us, do not send us up from here." The devotional talked about Moses' passion for God's presence. He cannot do the task assigned of him without God going with him.

Given bigger responsibilities, I am praying with Moses. Show me Your glory, Lord. If your presence does not go with me, do not send me up from here (to there).

Work

Work. This word has both negative and positive implications. For the jobless, this is something positive. A jobless person wants work. He/she looks for a job to earn. For people who have jobs, however, work may be negative. Work may mean stress. Employed people look forward to holidays.


Just before this school year started, just before my work began, I was able to listen to a very meaningful and useful talk from a pastor about work. The following ideas are the important things I want to keep in mind as I work.

Day 1 of Year 2

Today was the first day of the new school year. I had mixed emotions as the day ended. I was happy because I met my new pupils and the school year seemed to have started right. However, I also felt sad because I won't be handling last year's toddlers anymore.


But let me start with the positive side.


A while ago, I met this school year's batch of toddlers, my second batch of pupils. Here's how our day went.


To give them time to warm up, I let them choose the toys they want to play with. Free Play Time was a big help to my pupils because they easily became comfortable staying in class. I had no difficulty convincing them to let their parents and guardians leave and come back after 3 hours!

Playing with colorful blocks

Play dough molding

Dear Bubbles

Indeed, the Lord knows everything. He knows what I've been feeling lately. For two consecutive days, His Word to me has been about frustrations. He used Harold J. Sala's devotional guide, Just For Today to speak to me. It's as if God speaks to me through a letter. The letter may go like this:




Dear Bubbles,


Always remember that I will never leave you nor forsake you. You discover that many things are beyond your control. Don't worry. I am in control. You live in a world of frustrations. Don't worry. I am with you. Don't focus on what makes you feel frustrated or the frustration itself. Focus on your attitude towards it. Your attitude makes all the difference.

Discoveries at Year 1

This week, I'm gonna see children in school again. This week, I'm gonna meet new adorable faces! I'm also gonna see my pupils last year who I missed a lot! This week, I'm gonna meet my second batch of toddlers class. This week, my second year of teaching starts. Today, I reminisce and reflect on my first year experience as a teacher.


I have observed that children learn by discovering. And I have also discovered that this is also true for teachers. Teachers learn through discovery. I've learned a lot in my first year of teaching. I've got discoveries that I will always keep in mind as a teacher.


Discovery #1
Before anything else, apologize. Humility is the key to strong and good teacher-parent relationships.


Discovery #2
As a teacher I must kneel in prayer everyday, declaring my dependence on God for wisdom and direction for me, and safety and protection for the children.

Rest

Rest. This had been out of my vocabulary these past few months. But let me tell you that this blog entry isn't about my complaining about my tiredness but about getting through it.


Last March, I was very excited for April to come because I thought I would be able to take some rest. I knew I would be very busy during the summer vacation but I still hoped that I would get rest. What happened? April came and this meant that we, the youth leaders in church, should be preparing for the Summer Youth Camp during the Holy Week. I accomplished what was assigned to me the week before the camp. Thanks to my co-ministers because they were kind enough to understand my busy-ness. Next thing on my to-do list was the Daily Vacation Bible School (DVBS)  for children in a community in our city. It was a four-day activity for children which included teaching them Bible lessons and implementing activities. I really appreciated the efforts of all the volunteers. I did not notice that my two-week vacation from work had already ended. I went back to work a week before May came in. Summer classes, seminars for teachers, and preparations for the upcoming school year were my activities from mid-May until it ended. On the second day of June, we held the Children's Day Camp in church.


I enjoyed doing all these but I won't deny that while they were happening, I felt worried, down, discouraged, pressured, and tired. I wanted to take a break but I can't. I had opportunities to rest but my mind just kept on working.


Just last week, I felt pressured, frustrated, and worried because I felt like I was not yet prepared for the opening of classes, for work. I wanted everything to be ready before June 5, so that I may enjoy our family trip. I prayed, though not constantly, that everything would be ready. But it didn't happen. June 5 came and I needed to leave work temporarily. I really felt worried.

The March 11, 2012 Story

No, there was no bombing event on March 11, 2012. This particular date is just so memorable to me.

“Do not be afraid or discouraged because of this vast array, for the battle is not yours, but God’s.” This is what is written in 2 Chronicles 20:15. This was what I read on March 11, 2012 upon opening my devotional book very early in the morning.

This verse is about the story of King Jehoshaphat, one of my favorite Bible characters, facing the Moabites and the Ammonites. 2 Chronicles chapter 20 begins the story, “the Moabites and Ammonites with some of the Meunites came to make war on Jehoshaphat.” Now this was trouble for King Jehoshaphat! A vast army was coming to attack his people and territory! Do you know what he did? “Alarmed, Jehoshaphat resolved to inquire of the Lord, and he proclaimed a fast for all Judah (verse 3).” His immediate response was to seek the Lord. He led the people to seek help from the Lord for he knew that his forces could not withstand the army that was about to attack. King Jehoshaphat prayed, and he ended his prayer with this statement, which is one of my favorite Bible verses: “(O Lord) We do not know what to do, but our eyes are upon you (verse 12).” This is a statement of total surrender and dependence on God. What happened next? The Lord responded to their inquiry! The answer was: “Do not be afraid or discouraged because of this vast array, for the battle is not yours, but God’s (verse 15)… You will not have to fight this battle… Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged. Go out to face them (the enemies) tomorrow, and the Lord will be with you (verse 17).” Wow, what a relieving response! If you were Jehoshphat, will you believe this? Will you trust God? This wise and faith-filled king did. Early in the morning, they marched to the place the Lord told them to go. Jehoshaphat appointed men to sing to the Lord and to praise him for the splendour of his holiness as they went out at the head of the army (verse 21). And the ending was victory for King Jehoshaphat and his people! How? Indeed, they did not have to fight! Literally! The enemies destroyed one another! When the men of Judah arrived at the place where God led them, they saw only dead bodies! Those were the remains of their enemies! Truly, it was God’s battle. God promised. Jehoshaphat believed, trusted, and obeyed. God did exactly what he promised. Jehoshaphat worshipped God. “…The battle is not yours, but God’s.”

from http://www.redshirtfridays.org/images/Touching_Emails/soldier_kneeling.jpg 

March 11, 2012 was the day scheduled for the Licensure Examination for Teachers. That was the day I took the examination that I believed would confirm my calling as a teacher. That day, I held on to the same promise King Jehoshaphat held on to. I believed that taking the exam was not my battle, but God’s. Even before I finally decided to take the exam, I knew God was doing something far beyond my expectations and imagination. He had been telling and reminding me of his promises. At first I felt afraid. Afraid to take the exam because I was unprepared. But in December 2011, God gave me the courage (and resources) to go to the PRC Office to apply to take the examination on March 11, 2012. And the story did not end there.

What Happened in 2011

Today is the last day of year 2011. Tomorrow will be the start of a new year, 2012. So before this year ends, I thought of recalling the most remarkable events that happened this year.


This year, Blanch and I finished our college thesis! :)

With Blanch and Teacher Eva (our thesis adviser),
and one copy of our thesis and a bag for our dear adviser!

This year, I finished my college degree! Hooray!

Finally! :D

This year, I got a job! Thankfully, a school accepted and trusted an inexperienced, fresh grad to handle the youngest children in the preschool department! ;)

The babies entrusted to me :)

What happened in 2011? God kept me. His grace sustained me... once again. :)

" To him who is able to keep me from stumbling and to present me before his glorious presence without fault and with great joy—  to the only God our Savior be glory, majesty, power and authority, through Jesus Christ our Lord, before all ages, now and forevermore!"

Turning 22

It was only this year that I did not excitedly anticipate for my birthday. In the past (even as recent as last year), I was excited when the month of December came. I was excited about greetings, gifts, and surprises. This year, I did not feel the same sentiments. But to my surprise, my birthday this year turned out to be a memorable one.


It was an ordinary Tuesday at school, except for the fact that it was assessment day. That meant that I would not be seeing all of my pupils that day, only four of them. I felt quite sad that I was not able to celebrate my birthday in class, with my pupils, in my first year of teaching.


As usual, greetings started to come through text messages. Upon arriving in school, I went to our classroom and found my co-teacher painting. She said I should have arrived a bit later, because she was not able to surprise me. Oh, my early arrival was quite a disadvantage that day! She was planning to post a greeting on our classroom door.

Greeting from Teacher Joanna :)

Refreshed and Recharged

I am one of the newest "members" of the ASAP family. :) Having graduated from college last April gave me the privilege to be part of the ABCCOP Singles Armed with Passion (ASAP), a group for young professionals from churches affiliated with Alliance of Bible Christian Communities of the Philippines (ABCCOP). I am thankful that I was able to attend the ASAP Congress last November 25-27 in Batangas, with the theme Strengthening Christian Stewardship.


I have to admit that I did not expect much from the congress though it was my first ASAP Congress. This is for the reason that I was part of the staff (But I felt like I was a delinquent staff member because I was not able to attend meetings and I had not contributed a lot. Hehe.) and so I thought I was gonna "work" while in the congress and not really listen and learn. However, I was completely wrong. The congress was relaxing, refreshing, and recharging. Glory to God alone!

I learned a lot from the "Let's Hear It" and "Let's Talk About It" sessions. Pastor Anthony Munar, the guest speaker, is blessed not only with a good speaking (and singing) voice but also with wisdom to relay God's message to us in a light yet powerful way. I appreciated his witty lines, not to mention his funny stories and jokes. I have a lot to say about him, but all I want to do is to praise God for his life. Glory to God! I also enjoyed the group discussions for they were opportunities to share my concerns and insights and also to hear from my brothers and sisters. It's really great to learn from each other. :)

When My Knees Got Wounded

Written in 2007.

God is great and God is good, and we thank You for our food. By His grace we must all be fed, give us Lord our daily bread. Amen. I can still exactly remember this prayer along with its tune. I can still vividly picture as my classmates and I sang before we took our snacks.

Since I was a child, I was taught to pray. I remember my mom saying that I should pray before I eat and before I sleep. During those times, I just prayed as an act of obedience to an authority. I felt guilty whenever I did not pray because I felt like I disobeyed her. I was also anxious that she would scold me.

As I grew up, I felt the need to pray. Somehow, I prayed out of willingness and not just of obedience to my mom. I thought I needed to pray so that God would give me what I need. I prayed for food everyday. I prayed for high scores in my quizzes and exams. I prayed that I wouldn’t be late for school, whenever I was close to being late. I prayed that I would not become sick so that I could come to school and see my friends. I prayed that my teacher would not scold me if I would be called to recite and not be able to answer correctly. So you see, I had a simple prayer list then. With “simple”, I think I mean “selfish”. Hehe.

As I grew older, I felt an intense need to pray. Things around me became complicated perhaps because I had more experiences at that time than when I was younger. I prayed for a lot of things. My prayer was not simple anymore. Yet I think it became more selfish.

There was this thing I started to pray about. I got on my knees to ask God for it. I prayed about it every night. Years passed. And every year, my prayer changed but it was still about that thing. Now, I still pray about that, but my prayer is a lot different from the first time I prayed about it. I’ve been praying for 8 years now, I think. Yes, a lot has changed; things became and become worse, as one can see them. I once pleaded to God, “it’s okay if you ignore everything I pray for, just grant this one I’ve been praying about for a long time, please.” I even had bargains with Him. Yet now, I still don’t have what I keep on praying about. Does God listen?

There came a point in my life that I wanted to stop praying. My knees ached already. I thought nothing was happening. I felt tired waiting for God’s answer, or shall I say, I felt tired waiting for what I wanted to happen to happen.

But then, I could not stop praying. I didn’t know how that happened. Eventually, I felt like my head was bumped against a wall. Did I ever ask myself what my purpose for praying was? Why was I praying all along? I wanted God to change things. I wanted to direct Him to let things happen the way I wanted them to. All along, I thought He did not answer me. It was painful, but He let me realize that I was just too busy, focusing on what I wanted to happen, to see His answer. He was showing me the answer, but I was too stubborn to accept it. I wanted Him to answer the way I expected Him to. My knees were wounded because I relied on myself alone, thinking that through my own effort of praying things could change. I did not allow Him to cover them with His hand, not acknowledging that only He could let things happen.

For many years, I prayed selfishly. I prayed to get my desires. For me, prayer was like a vending machine. Once you pay, you get the product you want. I thought that as I prayed, I would get what I prayed for.

If God granted right away what I’ve prayed about for years, I would not have learned the true purpose of prayer. It will forever be like a vending machine to me.

Prayer, indeed, is a conversation with God. We not just present our requests; we speak with God, a lot like when we chat with a friend. It’s how we communicate with Him. It’s an expression of total dependence on Him, acknowledging His sovereignty. We pray not to let God change things but to allow God to change us. We are changed as we pray. I was and am being changed.

Curious of God’s answer to my eight-year-long prayer? His answer is that I should wait and trust because His plan is always the best. He made me realize that apart from Him, I can do nothing (Psalm 16:2). Many are the plans in my mind, but it is His purpose that will stand (Proverbs 19:21).

Just like what I have mentioned above, I still am praying about that same thing up to now. I won’t stop praying because I know God listens. Kukulitin ko si Lord.I want Him to know that I need His help. The more I pray, the more I experience His love and the more clearly I see His plan.

 I get on my knees; there I am before the love that changes me. See I don’t know how, but there’s power when I’m on my knees (On My Knees, Jaci Velasquez).

This time, my knees will never get wounded again.